Chocolate Covered Hearts
by Lost In My Heaven
Summary: Mello, Manhattans hottest, gay matchmaker, for the lonely, desperate, and generally mythical, inhabitants. But he needs a little shove in his own love life. So when complete and utter hottie Matt comes to town, whats a blonde to do? Rated for later chaps.
1. Chapter 1

I'm back! Yes I disappeared off the face of the Earth and deleted a lot of my stories. Sorry. Loooots of shit going on. .

**But it's all ok nao!**

**Except fro Cinema Bizarre breaking up. NOT OK! **

**I don't own Death Note! Or The Dead End Dating Series by Kimberly Raye!**

You would think that after being alive, or dead, for two-hundred-and-fifty-four years I would have learned by now _not _to answer my phone without looking at the caller ID.

"Hello, Chocolate Covered Hearts. If you've got the money, we've got the time! How may I help you?"

Yeah, it sucked as far as names, and catchy jingles went, but give me a break, I'm a guy. A _gay_ guy, but a guy nonetheless.

"You can call me back every once in a while."

I froze and stared at my phone in horror. Fuck me.

"Hi, mom." I said slowly. Shit. I am so screwed.

"Mihael." Anya Keehl said.

Now, I adore my mother, it's just I haven't told her I was gay yet, (and I figured it out when I was _eighteen_), so she was still on the grandbaby quest.

I raised my eyes to the ceiling, hoping above hope for anything that would allow me to bid my mother goodbye.

"So, I invited Railyn to the house on Sunday for the weekly Hunt."

Every Sunday my family has a giant Hunt, which is pretty much someone runs around with a whistle on their neck and then everyone else goes after them trying to catch them and blow the whistle.

It was also my mother's perfect opportunity to play Matchmaker, which is quite hilarious, since she absolutely abhors that I chose finding love for Manhattans loneliest as my profession.

"Oh… that's um… great mom! That's great." Not.

At that point my door choose to open and reveal a guy with raven black hair and dark, owl-like eyes.

Thank you whatever deity looks after my undead ass. "Hey, mom? I'm going to have to call you back. And for the love of all things good and glittery in the world call me Mello." I slammed my phone down and took a moment to close my blue eyes and take a deep breath before opening them again and plastering on a brilliant smile.

"Sorry about that, welcome to Chocolate Covered Hearts, my names Mello and I'm the owner, how may I help you?"

"My names L, and obviously I am looking for a date."

I raised an eyebrow. This guy was completely monotone. "Okay then, have a seat and I'll set you up with a profile. Hell, I'll even throw in the first three matches free." This guy would need it.

I handed him the paper and told him to fill it out before going online and looking like I was busy, when in all reality I was just shopping. The heel on my favorite boot had snapped and I needed a decent replacement, pronto.

The paper was placed on my desk and I quickly picked it up and scanned it over.

**Name: **_L Lawliet_.

**Age**_**:**__ 21_

**Birthday:** _December 1__st_

**Looking for:** _Male Female __**Both**_

Oh that made my job oh-so-much easier. It was impossibly simpler to be able to hook someone up with anyone who meets the requirements without having to specify by gender

**Likes:** _Sugary foods. Mysteries._

**Must Haves:**

Intelligent

I said another mini-prayer to the BVU (Big Vamp Upstairs), finally someone who didn't virtually rape the "Must have" box.

3 3 3 3

I stared at the couple I'd most recently hooked up, one Light Yagami and L Lawliet, and decided that this would be a good time to haul ass.  
L was smiling innocently at Light. Light was glaring at L, clearly wishing him to go into a diabetic coma.  
"Бог помогает мне..." I muttered. God help me.  
I started to back away slowly, hoping that they'd be too distracted to notice. Thankfully they were, and I went from a sexy, gay, Russian matchmaker, into an awesome pink bat (ever-so-manly am I not?). Shimmy-Shimmy-Cocoa-Pop.  
Just in time to see L practically attack Light with his lips. Wow. That was fast.  
Running away now.  
I hightailed (or high winged) it back to my apartment and had about nine messages from my mother on my machine. Jesus.  
"Михаил, будет остановить, избегая мне и ответить на ваш телефон?" Mihael, will you stop avoiding me and answer your phone?  
No mother I will not. At least until you stop trying to hook me up with Railyn Hathaway, and start calling me Mello. Which will happen around the same time monkeys decide to fly out of my ass. Credit to Angela Two, the blond half of the Angelas, for that.  
I had a text from Dayne, asking if I was on for shopping tomorrow. Do men only have one real "must have" (vagina), unless they're gay?

**R u nuts? Of course we r!**  
I use text speak, first and foremost to annoy the crap out of my mother, and second because I am too damn lazy to actually spell out the words "You" and "Are".  
I shrugged off my leather vest, toed off my boots, and left my pants in a crumpled heap on the way to my bathroom.  
The sun was going to rise soon as I was dead tired after all that drama with those last two clients. L and Light were going to somehow find a way to ruin my day. I can feel it!

I took a shower, fed my cat, Pixie, gulped down some O Neg, had my daily fix of chocolate (legends are full of shit, and that's all I'll say on the matter), slapped on some moisturizer and went to bed.

**And walla! The prologue for Chocolate Covered Hearts!**

**Review?**

**Bitte?**

**I'll give you a…. BORIS APREL PLUSHIE!**

**For those of you who don't know, Boris Aprel is a Ukrainian singer. Look him up. Right now.**


	2. Matt

I know the last chapter was a tiny bit scatter-brained, but now that's out of the way and Matt comes in and things get slightly more focused. Well, as focused as I ever get. -_-'''

**So, everyone who reviewed for chapter one take your plushies -holds out box of Boris Aprel plushies- And everyone else enjoy the first OFFICIAL chapter of Chocolate Covered Hearts! 3**

**ALSO: This will NOT be following a plot line of any of the books. There are a few things the same (For instance the born/made conflict in lovers, and the number one Born Vamp Commandment, and the matchmaking business) I AM being creative with this. K? So if you came in here reading this looking for Just One Bite, or Dead End Dating, or Your Coffin Or Mine, I'm sorry but thou shall be disappointed. This is Chocolate Covered Hearts! **

I woke up to my phone screaming out _Beauty Killer_ by Jeffree Star, and Pixie mooching my chest as her bed.

My hand groped on my bedside table for my cell phone and I made sure to look at the Caller ID before answering it.

"It's Mello."

"Mello! You're running so late! Your nine-o'clock is already here!" My loyal, and oh-so-human assistant Lilli told me frantically.

I paused for a moment. "I have a nine-o'clock?"

"Apparently. Just get your sexy, gay ass over here!" Then she hung up on me.

If she wasn't totally fabulous…

I picked Pixie up and put her on my bed before getting ready for the day. Black leather pants, leather vest, boots, black eyeliner, and pin-straight hair. I was good to go.

I hailed a cab and was at Chocolate Covered Hearts in less than twenty minutes, which is a miracle and a half; believe you me.

I strode into the tastefully decorated lobby and winked to Lilli. "Morning, Sunshine."

"Cutting it a bit close, aint ya', Mells?"

I shrugged. "I'm never late. Everyone else is simply early."

"I'm sure they are, Mello."

I rolled my blue eyes and walked into my office, spotting combat boots on my desk, fiery red hair poking up from behind the chair, and hearing the pinging of one of those insufferable hand-held video games.

"Hello, hello, hello. Good morning, how are you, please keep your feet off my desk before I am forced to slice them off with a paper clip. 'Kay thanks!" I said cheerfully, walking around the person to sit in my chair, sliding their feet off my furniture as I went.

I got my first good look at Mail "Matt" Jeevas.

Bright red hair, eyes hidden by orange goggles, pouty, full mouth, high cheekbones, pale skin. Has a thing for stripes and fur.

I nearly froze up. Oh boy. He was smoking, and I don't mean the cigarettes poking out of his pocket. "Welcome to Chocolate Covered Hearts. You got the money we got the time. Yada, yada, yada." I handed him one of the papers. "Fill that out and I'll get you set up."

He barely looked up from his game. "How about I tell you and you just put it in your computer. Go green and all that nonsense."

I narrowed my eyes, hot or not hot… "How about I take your game and throw it into oncoming traffic?"

That got his attention. "You wouldn't dare."

"Oh, wouldn't I?" I asked.

He frowned but turned the game off and filled out the sheet before handing it back.

His name was Matt, he was 20 years old, he likes video games, he smoked, he hated chocolate (blasphemy!), and he was a gay boy.

"So, Matt. Have a last name to go with that?"

"I do. Not that it's any of your business, but my real name is Mail Jeevas. Not that I go by it."

"Completely understandable." I said scribbling it down and entering him into my database.

One match: Mihael "Mello" Keehl. What. The. Fuck? Why was I even _in_ my database? I had no problems finding a date. I mean obviously, who didn't want a piece of this?

"Nothing as of right now." I lied smoothly. "But I'll keep looking." I smiled easily. "More people sign up every day, so it's only a matter of time."

He gave me a look that said he hadn't believed my lie as much as I believed that Bill Kaulitz was straight (because deny it all you want honey, no guy that pretty is completely straight).

This is the part when I would've plastered on my sexy, seductive, you-want-to-listen-to-me-because-I'm-sexy smile, and added a little vamp glamour, except I needed eye contact and this guys eyes were covered by goggles.

"And don't even try to glamour me." Matt smirked, "I'm not human."

I frowned. He really _wasn't_ a human, because that would mean someone had broken the main Born-Vampire commandment: "Thou shall keep a low profile".

He wasn't a born-vamp like me; he didn't have a sweet smell (mine was chocolate-chocolate-chip cookies).

He wasn't a demon, no matter how sexy he was, every female in a thirty-mile radius wasn't panting like a bitch in heat.

Ix-nay on the Werewolf, it was the full moon tonight and he wasn't humping _or_ howling.

"Made?" I asked.

His smirk widened. "You got it."

I rolled my eyes and quickly made a note on my computer. "Cocky, ain't ya?"

"In more ways then one, maybe I can show you sometime."

Maybe he could…

"But that's not why I'm here." He continued. "Nate Rivers is missing."

I raised my eyes from the computer screen to meet his goggled ones. "What does it have to do with me if the Sheep got himself killed?"

Nate "Near" Rivers was my ex-boyfriend. He was cute, very quiet, stoic, and a genius.

He was everything in the world I never saw myself falling for, but I did anyways.

He broke my heart, and it never quite healed.

"The last calls on his cell phone were to you." Matt said.

I shrugged. I made a point of ignoring Near's calls. "I don't answer when Near calls."

"Near?"

"It's nickname. Like mine is Mello, yours is Matt."

He nodded. "Fair enough. Did Nate… Near ever leave a message?"

I looked at my phone 22 new voicemails. "He might've. But my phone gets spammed so much by my mother I wouldn't actually know."

He smiled slightly. "Haven't told her you're gay yet?"

Wow, he really was a detective. "How'd you guess?" I said grinning cheekily and tossing my hair over one shoulder. "So, why'd you fill out a profile instead of just getting straight to the point that you think I murdered my asshole of an ex?"

"A: I don't think you murdered him. And B: I'm bored." He said, his lips widening into a sheepish grin.

I had to laugh. "Alrighty then. But really, no matches for you just yet; I'll call you when I get one."

He saluted, stood up, and stretched, his striped shirt and vest riding up and showing about two inches of smooth skin.

Ohmygawd.

**Review's make me happy. :D**


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